Love 愛情
by Manwaithiel
Summary: The story of Shinki's adoption. May add more chapters later.


"Lord Kazekage."

Gaara looked up from his paper-covered desk.

"We are getting reports of another iron-sand storm. To the north."

Wordlessly, the Kazekage rose and left his office.

The scout turned to Kankuro who had been sitting in the corner, repairing one of his puppets. He was new to this position and unused to the Kazekage's manner.

"Is he always so...?"

Kankuro smirked. "You have no idea."

* * *

The boy's blood pulsed violently in his hears. He clutched both temples, willing himself to stay calm. The iron-sand gale screamed in his ears.

Terrifying.

 _Inhale._ Try to control it. Try to…

 _Slice._

The mini-storm sliced his cheek. More pain. More tears he wouldn't cry.

 _Exhale._ Just keep breathing. It will stop.

A movement out of the corner of his eye startled him. His head snapped up and the angry, frightened eyes narrowed.

The Kazekage.

Sent here to deal with him.

His sand had a mind of its own. Sharp points formed, hurled themselves at the man in red. Unsurprisingly, the legendary sand of Shukaku surrounded its user to protect him. A few of the spikes hit home.

Shinki glared in suspicion as the pain in his head trebled. Everyone knew how untouchable the Kazekage was.

Suddenly, arms surrounded him, holding him firmly. He could feel the man wince at the spikes in his shoulders, but the arms stayed.

This was...unexpected.

For a split second, the boy wanted to push the arms away. But it felt so safe. And human. He hadn't felt human in so long…

The pain disappeared, the blood no longer ricocheting across the eardrums. His eyes widened in surprise. The iron sand dropped harmlessly to the desert floor.

A gentle hand on his shoulder, pushing him back slightly to look up at the Kazekage. The green eyes were soft, full of concern.

The boy gaped at him.

"I will teach you how to use your power."

 _What power? The iron sand...it hurt. He had never considered it power._

"What's your name?"

The boy continued to stare. He had almost forgotten what it was. No one had used it in so long.

"Shinki…"

"And where do you live, Shinki?"

Shinki blinked, still stunned. "Nowhere...Lord Kazekage…"

Gaara's face remained composed. "Your parents…?"

 _Throb._ The iron sand rustled, skittered across the ground. The hand on the shoulder tightened, comforting. The sand stilled.

Shinki's head drooped, the weight of the world on those small shoulders. "The-the Fourth War…"

Gaara nodded. "I see."

Shinki looked up again, not sure what to expect next. Gaara gazed at him thoughtfully for several minutes, eyes full of sympathy. _How familiar this scene was._ Then, "Will you come with me?"

Shinki nodded once, tried to stand. The aftermath of his ordeal crashed through his skull and the migraine that always came after one of his episodes exploded. He reeled.

Gaara caught the small frame and lifted him, resting the small head against his shoulder.

"Close your eyes. It will help with the pain. Try to sleep."

Shinki obeyed. _So tired_. Within moments, he was breathing deeply, exhausted. He didn't notice Gaara's sand platform materialize nor did he remember floating back to the Kazekage estate.

* * *

Shinki's eyes opened slowly, weighted from the now fading migraine. The room was dim, but it was still light outside. Probably sunset.

 _Where was he?_

His neck ached so he turned it slowly, side to side. The room wasn't familiar. A dream…?

And then the encounter with the Kazekage flashed back.

He slowly sat up. _Everything_ ached. A wave of nausea engulfed him. Good thing his stomach was empty. He noticed a tendril of sand slide from the bed he was lying in.

And then the Kazekage was standing next to it.

"How do you feel?"

Shinki looked up at him, still waking up, assessing.

"It hurts…"

Gaara reached over to the side table, picked up a glass of water and handed it to Shinki. "Drink."

Shinki's dry throat was grateful. Gulping the water quickly, he handed the empty glass back to Gaara. Shinki noticed something different about the water. "What is…"

"Herbs to help hydrate and soothe that headache."

It _was_ refreshing. Shinki stared at the Kazekage who looked at him levelly.

"Kazekage...why-"

"How old are you?"

Apparently that question was not going to get answered. "I don't know."

"How long have you had your sand ability?"

Shinki tried to think. He was mind was still sluggish, like it was moving underwater. "Since I found out my parents died."

 _Throb_.

Gaara's eyes widened as Shinki clutched his head. The Kazekage placed his hand on the Shinki's shoulder. "I'm sorry..."

Shinki looked at Gaara, surprised at what he saw. The Kazekage had been so calm, but now he looked concerned, upset...even slightly angry.

"I'm sorry, Kazekage-"

"You are the last person who needs to apologize right now," Gaara looked out towards one of the open windows, obviously deep in thought. He turned back to Shinki. "I think you should try to eat. Do you think you can?"

Shinki nodded.

"Don't try and move. Just hold still."

Gaara's sand deftly lifted the small boy from the bed and placed him on a sand platform. Without seeming to notice how very strange this experience was, Gaara walked pulling Shinki along with him out of the room, through a corridor, and out to a terrace, seating Shinki on a cushioned chair.

A pretty kunoichi with sandy-brown hair walked out to the terrace. "I'll take care of him, Kazekage. Kankuro is waiting in your office"

"Thank you, Matsuri." Gaara turned to Shinki. "My bodyguard will see you get whatever you need. Please try to eat something."

Shinki nodded, still not entirely sure he wasn't having a very involved hallucination.

"Guard him like you would me, Matsuri."

"Of course, Kazekage."

* * *

"I need to remedy this situation with the war orphans. There must be others like Shinki."

Kankuro nodded.

"Of course, Gaara. Don't take this too much to heart."

Then Kankuro smiled. He still remembered the bloodthirsty boy who hated the world. Seeing the juxtaposition of the determined Kazekage who cared deeply about this village and the people in it always made him smile.

Gaara was quiet for a moment. Then, "The boy's sand jutsu...it's such a rare Kekkai Genkai...I don't know how he could have it unless…"

"I thought about that too. I already have some of the Suna historians working on it."

"Thank you, brother."

* * *

Matsuri brought Shinki some pineapple. He had never seen anything like it before. The first bite was heaven and he quickly chewed through the rest, savoring its sweetness.

Matsuri beamed. "That's the Kazekage's favorite fruit. Though his favorite food tends to be organs," she made a face.

Shinki managed the tiniest smile, "Mine too…"

Matsuri broke into an all out grin, "Well, you and the Kazekage will get along wonderfully."

Shinki stopped smiling and all of his seriousness came back in full force. "Lady Matsuri...why did he…?"

Matsuri still smiled, but a thoughtful look came over her. "The Kazekage is the kindest man I have ever met. He wasn't always that way, but one person showed him compassion - ask him about it sometime, he's always willing to tell that story - and it changed his life. He has an especial heart for those whom no one else cares about. He takes his duty as the village protector very seriously," Matsuri paused. Then, "I became one of his students because of how much he cares for the ones who need help the most. I was the most fearful, unskilled shinobi student when he met me. Now I serve as his personal bodyguard. That's just who he is." She tilted her head and then, "I'll be right back."

In a flash Matsuri left and returned, bringing Shinki some gizzard with a wink. "From the Kazekage's personal stash. I don't think he will mind."

"No, I do not mind." Gaara walked out to the terrace, "Thank you, Matsuri."

"Of course, Lord Kazekage. Will there be anything else?"

"No. Go home for the day."

"Till tomorrow then," and Matsuri disappeared. Shinki had obviously watched shinobi move with their incredible speed, but he had never been that close to one when they made a jump. It amazed him.

Gaara cleared his throat, "Shinki."

Shinki looked at the Kazekage, not sure what to expect.

Gaara looked at the boy thoughtfully. "If you are willing, I would like you to stay here...for now." He looked like he wanted to say more, but instead paused.

Shinki thought about Matsuri's words. _That's just who he is_. The boy had not learned much about Kages in his few years, but he had never expected that a village leader would take so much trouble over an orphan. He wondered…

"Kazekage...why are you helping me? I'm not an important villager. I don't understand why you care." The words sounded harsh after he said them out loud and instantly Shinki regretted it. _He'll change his mind after that speech._

But Gaara's eyes were not angry. They were sad and...reminiscent. "I know that when you grow up thinking no one cares, the idea that someone does is incomprehensible. It was for me."

"For you?"

Gaara smiled wryly. "Though you may find it hard to believe, I was not always the Kazekage and I was not always loved by my village. Far from it," the man's eyes darkened, "I experienced pain very similar to yours. Pain that lived here," Gaara laid his right hand over his heart.

Shinki automatically did the same. The Kazekage was right. That's exactly where it hurt - anywhere from a dull ache to a sharp, stabbing terrible pain that traveled to his head when he lost control of whatever caused the iron sand to move.

"I would like to stay here." He could hardly believe his own ears.

Gaara's nodded. "Good. My brother has prepared a room for you. I will take you there. Do you think you can stand?"

Shinki nodded and got to his feet, feeling only a little shaky. The calories had certainly helped. Leaning on the Kazekage's arm, he shuffled back into the house.

* * *

Shinki walked into the kitchen one morning and was surprised to see two women he had never seen before standing there, chatting with Kankuro. They were both quite pretty, one pink-haired and one dark blonde. They were dressed beautifully and had delicate facial features, but Shinki instantly detected strength and power radiating from both of them. Kunoichi, no doubt. The pink-haired one had a blue diamond on her forehead that he recognized as some type of chakra seal.

Kankuro saw him, waved him over. "Shinki, perfect timing. We have some guests who have come to meet you."

Shinki bowed politely. He had been in the Kazekage's home two weeks, most of the time spent resting and eating whatever Matsuri and Kankuro could persuade him to eat. He had also been reading a great deal. The Kazekage's library was extensive to say the least. Shinki had become more comfortable, but smiled rarely. Pain was still a companion.

The blonde smiled at him. "I am Temari, Gaara and Kankuro's sister." Ah yes, he had heard of the fiery sister of the Kazekage who had married a ninja from Konoha. She was famous.

The one with the pink hair and diamond seal extended her hand. "My name is Sakura. I'm a friend of the Kazekage from Konoha." Shinki took her hand. Her handshake was...strong. She could probably kill many people with that hand. Probably _had_ killed many people. But she seemed gentle too. "Gaara asked me to meet with you. I'm a medical ninja. Would it be alright if we spoke after you've had breakfast?"

Shinki nodded, still quiet. The three adults went back to talking while he made himself a bowl of pineapple. He had become fond of several fruits, but pineapple remained his favorite. He stared out the window, eating slowly, listening to Kankuro, Temari, and Sakura chat about the news from Konoha. After finishing, he washed out his bowl and placed it back into the cupboard.

Sakura turned to him and smiled brightly. "Ready?"

Shinki followed her to the terrace. It had become one of his favorite places. The Kazekage had probably told her that.

They sat facing each other. "So the Kazekage has told me a little about your power and how it manifests. Please describe to me what occurs, how it feels, what you notice, etc."

Shinki studied her. This woman was certainly used to being obeyed. Gentle and strong. Perhaps a little impatient. But she was kind, he could see that too. He cleared his throat, "I'm not sure how it works. When the iron sand moves, it's very painful. But I don't know how I'm moving it or what causes the pain."

Sakura nodded. "May I place my hand on your head?"

Shinki leaned forward. Sakura placed an open palm on the crown of his head. He felt warmth under the pressure of her hand. "You're probably feeling the small amount of chakra I'm using to examine your skull and brain. This part will not hurt." Then she was silent.

Several minutes ticked by, Sakura deep in concentration. Shinki found the process quite relaxing and was dozing off. Suddenly, he realized that she had asked a question. "I'm sorry?"

"I was saying I'm going to ask you a series of questions now. Some of this may be painful. Please try to stay still. I will not allow it to become more painful than necessary."

"That is fine."

Sakura smiled. _He's brave. A true Sand shinobi in the making._ "Tell me how old you were when your parents died."

 _Throb_. Shinki stiffened, but noticed that, while the pain was there, it was dulled as if someone had poured Novocaine on his brain. "I don't know."

"How did they die?"

 _Throb._ Smaller this time. And he could feel a slight increase in pressure from Sakura. "The Fourth War."

The pain faded and Sakura removed her hand. "I see," she muttered. She placed her index finger on her chin, thinking.

Shinki continued to hold her gaze. Sakura smiled again and rose. "I need to speak to the Kazekage now. I was told you enjoy reading." Sakura removed a book from her shoulder pack, "This is quite an interesting book on chakra control. I thought you would enjoy it. The Kazekage told me this wasn't in his library."

Shinki was surprised by the thoughtfulness of the gesture. He took the book and bowed, thanking her. Sakura smiled again and walked from the terrace. Shinki settled into a chair, immediately getting lost in the new book.

* * *

Sakura stood before Gaara's desk. Gaara tented his fingers, listening attentively.

"The principle of what causes him pain is similar to the Uchiha dojutsus. Trauma awakens certain jutsus. When the ninja has no one to assist them in the awakening of the jutsu - Shinki's control of iron for example - it can spin out of control as it has with him. The pain he has endured is really incredible. It's amazing that he's as stable as he is."

"What is the solution?"

Sakura sighed. "This isn't a simple question. He needs to learn to control the jutsu, yes. But...the trauma is still there. And the risk of losing control remains while it does. There are certain neurological surgeries I can perform-"

"But there is no guarantee." It wasn't a question.

"Correct."

Gaara turned from his desk, looking out across Suna. Unconsciously, his hand rested on the 'love' kanji tattooed over his left eye.

"I think I know what Shinki will need."

Sakura nodded. "I think you do too."

Gaara stood and bowed. "Thank you for traveling so far to consult on this, Sakura. Please remit whatever bill is required from Konoha"

Sakura waved him off. "Consider it a favor between friends. You would do the same for Konoha. I'll give your best to the Hokage." She winked at him and left the office.

* * *

Gaara went to the roof, _his_ favorite spot, and stood there a long time as the sun set over Suna.

 _Love._

That's what Shinki needed. It was the only way to stop the pain. The only way to heal the wound of his heart and prevent his jutsu from killing him. Sakura obviously thought he was quite strong, but no one could hold out against something like that forever. He, of all ninjas, knew that best.

But just because he knew what Shinki needed didn't mean he was able to provide it. He had avoided marriage and a family on purpose. Love was complicated for Gaara. His siblings were one thing. The Hokage, Matsuri, the other friends he had made along the way. They had shown Gaara that he was capable of love.

This was completely different. This love would be responsible for _teaching_ love to its recipient. The height of a parent's responsibility. Another thing he understood more than most.

Stars began to show against an increasingly inky sky. Gaara studied one of his favorite constellations.

 _Mother. I know what you would do. You would take this boy, no questions asked. You would raise him to love and be loved. You would find it easy, natural. But I…_

"You've been up here awhile."

Gaara turned to see his sister approaching him. He sighed and looked away.

"Sakura filled me in. I can guess what you're thinking."

Gaara smirked. "I think you've always been able to guess what I was thinking, Temari. Even before…"

"You know you're the best person to do this for him, right Gaara?" Gaara was quiet. Temari continued, "You understand him. Better than anyone else could. You understand his pain, his jutsu. He needs you."

"Temari, I am not what anyone would call...guardian material," he was unable to use the word _parent_. "Yes, I've learned to have friends, learned to form bonds. But this is a huge responsibility."

"The very fact that you understand that makes you even more perfect for this. He needs you," she repeated.

Gaara looked back to the sky. "I know."

Silence.

"What are you afraid of, Gaara?" Temari whispered gently.

"Hurting him."

Temari chuckled. "I hate to break it to you, Gaara. But loving someone doesn't stop you from ever hurting them. In fact, speaking as a mother, I would say I end up hurting my child more than anyone else. But I also love Shikadai more than anyone else ever could. The mistakes I make from day to day don't change that. The fact that you try to love them the best...that's what a child needs to see most."

Temari turned away. "Why don't you try talking to him? You might be surprised what he says to you. He's a very interesting child."

"What have you..." but Temari had already bounded from the roof and out of sight.

Gaara was still, thinking. And his thoughts drifted back to a conversation he had had with Shinki a few nights before.

" _Lord Kazekage?"_

" _Yes?"_

" _May I ask one of the medical ninjas for some ointment?"_

" _Are you hurt?"_

" _Not me...before you found me. My sand...I hurt a little girl. I was going to bring it to her."_

 _Gaara's eyes grew wide. Shinki wasn't sure why. Had he offended the Kazekage?_

" _You may have whatever you would like from our medical team. Tell them you are procuring it on my orders."_

" _Thank you," Shinki bowed and left for the hospital._

Later that evening, he had learned that Shinki's gift had been well-received and the little girl, Yodo, had invited Shinki to have dinner with her family the next week. Gaara could hardly keep a straight face as Shinki had recalled their conversation to him. His emotions ran from delight to pain to happiness and he had almost burst into tears. Fortunately, he had saved them for later that evening in his own bed. Then he cried. Cried for how far Suna had come. Cried for Shinki's life up to that point. Cried from the wonder of amazing love.

And then Gaara knew. He turned and left the roof terrace in search of Shinki.

* * *

Gaara found him out on his terrace, buried in the book Sakura had given him. The Kazekage approached and sat in one of the chairs near the boy, still silent.

One thing Shinki had enjoyed about any time he spent with the Kazekage was how he never forced conversation, never just interrupted. Shinki had tested him on several occasions and the Kazekage had waited for several minutes at times for Shinki to show readiness for talking before he would engage him.

This evening, though, Shinki was not in the mood for game playing and Gaara looked quite serious. He marked his page and closed the book softly, turned to face the man who was staring at the sky.

"Lord Kazekage?"

Gaara closed his eyes. _How to begin?_ Slowly he opened them and turned to face Shinki.

"Shinki. How…" Gaara paused. Then "What is that you're reading?"

Shinki held it up. "Lady Sakura gave it to me. It's all about chakra control."

"I remember she asked me if that one was in my library. I told her how you devoured books. And Sakura is one of the most skilled shinobis when it comes to delicate chakra control. Anything she recommends in that area is worth the reading."

Shinki nodded. "I don't understand it all, but it seems interesting."

Silence.

"Kazekage…"

Gaara looked at Shinki.

Shinki cleared his throat. "I am...grateful for you letting me stay here. And for bringing the Leaf ninja to see me...but...this is your home. And I know you probably need to send me to an orphanage or...something. I just wanted to know...when. So I can be prepared."

Gaara's heart broke. Shinki had been staring at the ground during this speech, but at the end he raised his head and the man saw the fear in the boy's eyes. Shinki had been very brave and close-fisted during his sojourn with the Kazekage. But the fear of being alone - of solitude - it was written all over his face.

Gaara knelt so that he was eye-level with Shinki.

"You don't need to leave unless you want to."

Shinki blinked. Stared.

"You may stay here...for as long as you like. I...will take care of you as long as you want this to be your home."

Shinki kept staring.

"You don't have to answer right away. Take time to think it over."

Gaara rose, afraid his eyes might betray him. He turned to walk off the terrace.

"Kazekage!"

Gaara stopped. Turned.

Shinki had found his voice. His eyes were completely changed. Hope. Just a small amount. But it was there.

"If I...were to stay...forever…?"

And Gaara was smiling. He hardly knew why. Yes he did. He was remembering the day a blonde-haired, no-talent ninja from the Leaf had fought him until he could barely drag himself across the ground. The day that had changed his life, that brought a singular revelation to him.

 _Love...is that what makes him so strong?_ He had asked that question. And he had learned in the years since then that that was exactly what made one strong. And happy.

And he loved Shinki.

Gaara reached his hand out tentatively and Shinki, in one of the rare moments where he would be demonstrative, ran into the Kazekage's arms. And cried.

"Thank you, Lord Kazekage."

Gaara knelt down, level with Shinki's face again. "Not Kazekage. Father." _Father_. That word held so many emotions for Gaara. But at last...they were not all going to be painful anymore.

Shinki nodded and threw his arms around Gaara's neck, holding tight. "Thank you...Father."


End file.
